Wednesday, July 2, 2014

HOW TO MURDER A LOBSTER

No big deal, but we're fancy. Because we had lobster on Saturday night.


My son had just gotten back from Camp Mimi, a whole week with his grandmother, so we wanted to have a special welcome for him. So on Saturday afternoon, the family went to Central Market, picked a live lobster from the tank, named him Zoidberg and brought him home. He spent the rest of the day attempting to escape from the cooler before he met a terrible death. Read on to learn how its done! 


Your lobster needs to breathe. When you get him from the tank, bring him home in a large bag with another bag of ice inside. Keep the bag slightly open so the guy can breathe. When you get home, fill a small cooler 1/3 full of ice. Put your lobster in. Don't close the lid all the way. Use a wooden spoon or something to prop open the lid so he can breathe. 


When you are ready to execute your new pet for the day, fill a BIG pot with about a gallon of water. Add a lot of salt, like 1/4 cup to the water. You want it to be salty like the ocean. Bring it to a boil. 


Grab Zoidberg and flip him over. He's going to do a back dive into the pot. Make sure you clip off those rubber bands-- watch out for the pinchers. That lobster is stronger than you could ever imagine. Mine grabbed the scissors and would not let go. 

Drop the lobster in the boiling water, upside down and head first. Make sure he is completely submerged. Watch out-- it might freak out and start flipping his tail, splashing you with HOT ass water. It won't last long though. That sucker is dead now. When the water comes back up to a boil, set your timer to 12 minutes. After twelve minutes, the lobster should be bright red and cooked through. 
Remove the lobster from the pot and set on a cutting board to rest. When it is cool enough the handle, pull the tail off of the body. Using kitchen scissors, cut the tail shell in half, first on the soft side, then the hard side. Use a large knife to cut the meat, creating two separate halves of the tail. They look so pretty served like this! Next, use a nut cracker to crack open the claws and scoop out the meat. Not as pretty, but just as tasty. 

Serve drizzled with or dunked in melted butter. Save some meat for your morning omelet! 




Song o' the Day: Now is the Start; A Fine Frenzy



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